Friday, August 21, 2009

Job Description

Position: Richardson City Councilman

Requirements: Must have an oath of allegiance to Bill Keffler on file. Photocopies will not be accepted, as DNA from the blood signature cannot be duplicated if ever a clone needs to be produced. Previous experience with incestuous business practices is encouraged but not required.

Education/Experience: Must be proficient in raising right hand.

Areas of Responsibility: None. (We'll take care of that for you.)

Essential Functions: You will be required to participate in holiday parades, cut ribbons, and attend musical productions at the Eismann Center©. *At no point will you be asked to hold the city manager accountable, regardless of what you have heard other cities do.

Our Motto: When in doubt defer to Gary!


  1. You forgot the requirement to memorize the Bill Keffler Loyalty Anthem and sing it every morning.

  2. I think you also have to sign an pledge to (1) support the blood covenants of the Richardson Coaltion and Chuck Eisemann, and (2) always vote for Gary Slagel for mayor. With one exception, I think that they have gotten their way. It's a sad day for Ricahrdson.

  3. Are parts of the parade responsibilties to throw candy in the eyes of children and laugh? Just wanting to make sure before I apply for the job.

  4. Only if you want to ride with me.