Friday, April 30, 2010

Proof

...that my story was true.

Who is this guy?

Because they could be twins, right?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

From the Richardson Coalition*.....

Recently, here at the Richardson Coalition*, we have been taking some heat because not only do we insist on butting our noses into the city council and bond elections, but we are now making school board recommendations as well.

Obviously people are just upset because they realize what a phenomenal ability our board has for recommendations. And you know what? We don't blame the residents one bit for being up in arms. You guys are completely right! How dare we greedily confine all of our wonderful opinions just to these local city elections when obviously what the people want, no, dare I say need, is more of our brilliant recommendations! After all, how can we expect you to get out of bed in the morning and live a full and productive life if we have not yet told you that the blue tie is obviously the clear choice here. 'Blue Tie, receiver of the RC stamp of recommendation.'

And because we understand that you, the poor, average, Richardson resident, must above all other things eat at least 3 to 4 times a day, what better place to begin our projectile opinionating than at some of our city's fine, local eateries? And after all, everyone likes food, so this can't possibly offend anyone, right?

This month we will focus our recommendation solely on the flourishing 'Indistani' fare that Richardson has to offer. So, let's begin...

Afrah on Beltline, just East of 75: After having not 2, but 3 serving of Afrah's famous Beef Shawarma, which in hindsight might not have been the best idea, the other board members and I had massive bouts of diarrhea that looked more like gravy watered down with curdled milk and was precisely 105.2 degrees fahrenheit. Our gas smelled like nothing any of us had ever smelled before- not strongly pungent, but a weird kind of smell ('kind of like turmeric' a few members added). After a lot of debate and discussion Afrah has received the Coalition's 'NOT recommended' vote, due to it's lack of membership in the Richardson Chamber of Commerce.

Mumtaz on West Campbell Road: How can you go wrong with Shepherd's pie? This wonderful beef dish was obviously prepared with some of the finest and fleshes herbs around, so the Coalition in no way holds Mumtaz responsible for what happened in the parking lot after our meal. However, it should be noted that if you are not a fan of cream of mushroom soup going down you will certainly have too refined a pallet for it when it is coming up as well. Seriously folks, old 'up Chuck' didn't get his nickname by accident. You would have thought he'd been housing a pet tape worm in his upper intestine for the past decade and that the fat bloated little monster finally got sick and tired of the country club life and broke free all over the side of his Lexus. No kidding, the vomit just kept cascading down his windows in thick, creamy sheets. A few parking lot patrons, concerned by the velocity with which the bile was exiting Chuck's frail ginger frame, retrieved their cell phones as Chuck's vomit ricochetting off his car door, even acted as though they were going to call for help until they realized who this real life Linda Blair was. After a not-quite-unanimous vote, the Coalition has decided that Mumtaz will receive our smiley face of "Recommended" approval, while the Shepherd's Pie gets a "not NOT recommended, but not RECOMMENDED either," and finally, for the unhelpful douchebag's in the parking lot who made us pay for their dry cleaning, we UNANIMOUSLY decided you deserve a "NOT recommended" frowny face. jerks.

And lastly, after hearing from our dear friend and member, Mrs.Martha Ritter**, who after years of being told to pull a something out of her somewhere was able to forgo a dreaded upcoming trip to the gastroenterologist simply by sampling Ali Baba's curd rice dish, we at the Coalition just had to try their acclaimed cuisine! Some might say, 'Oh, c'mon! You're just bunch of old, white, culinarily sheltered sissies! There's no way your bowels will be able to handle anything on Ali Baba's menu!' And to you sir, I would say, 'yes, two weeks ago that might have been true, but now my good friend, after lining my upper and lower GI tract with more curry than you can shake a tawa at, I am up for any Indistani challenge!' And so, the first course arrives. Our board began with an order of Kanchipuram Idly, and even with the recent nut aversion most of us had suffered after our 'blow out' (pun intended) at Afrah, I must say, we all enjoyed this dish immensely! I did, however, hear a faint gurgling from across the room and as I looked up to see where it was coming from I noticed both Ken and John unbuckling their belts and squirming uncomfortably in their seats. Not long after Ken took an 'Urgent Phone Call' in the bathroom, and John was forced to change his slacks after 'accidentally' soiling them with some clumsily handled hummus. Luckily, after our last dinner Charles had gotten in the habit of keeping a spare change of clothes in his freshly detailed car, which he was able to lend poop poor John. That's when it hit me. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. At first I thought it was only gas, which could have been passed in batches right at the table without too much concern. I was wrong. And evidently everyone else at the table was also feeling similar discomforts. Before we knew it, our subtle squirms had morphed into a mad group dash to the restrooms. Ladies to the left, gentleman to the right. Bless the precious souls at the Richardson Health Department for refusing to issue a license before each restroom had a minimum of 10 separate stalls. Man, did they have their customer to spices ratio right! As our bodies got repeatedly cleaned out in waves of what we've now loving call 'The Ritter Reaming' we were able to do some really great team building. Our time spent in the Ali Baba restroom was more valuable than all of the ropes courses and trust fall seminars we've attended put together! We really got to know one another in there-the good, the bad, and certainly, the ugly. We talked about the council members and school board candidates we liked, and debated their experience in the city versus their real world accomplishments. I think you'll all be surprised by our next Voter's Guild. It will probably be one of the most well thought out evaluations so far. After a solid half hour in the john with John, all of us slowly and awkwardly made our way back to the table...our entrees had grown cold. The wait staff at Ali Baba was so accommodating though, and as if they had dealt with this very situation numerous times before, they seamlessly took our food back to the kitchen and reheated it, no questions asked. The night wore on, the baklava flowed and all of us left that little slice of Mediterranean heaven as a member of a much closer coalition than we had ever been before. Which is why, we, The Richardson Coalition* UNANIMOUSLY give Ali Baba's off of US-75/Central Expressway our highest vote of RECOMMENDATION thus far! ....well, aside from Luby's that is.





*maybe not totally the Coalition so much.

**oh, did I say Marth Ritter? I meant NOT Martha Ritter, whoops.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Awwwwwww SNAP!

busted.

But David, don't ya know....

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

This is what happens when you hang out with 15-year-olds.....

they talk you into getting barefoot in the mud. And you oblige because the 15-year-old in you still wants to be cool.More pictures from Tree The Town here.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Tweeting last night's 'Just Say 'No' To The Bond' meeting...

Two words: Geep Funderbunk (@ Richardson Civic Center) http://4sq.com/cMK88P

@ The bond meeting. And somebody just farted in here. Loud. #sirthatwasnotyourchair

Good site to know: texasbondreviewboard.com

Richardson is $358 million in debt.

State average for city debt is $4k per person. Richardson is at 11k+ per citizen.

Bill Keffler (Richardson City Manager) makes more than Rick Perry and Nancy Pelosi.

Who's here? Cheryl "Miller Time" Miller, Jim Shepherd, Andrew, David, Bache-Wiig, Nathan, Cheri, McCalpin, Jim and all the other regulars.

The Fred Hill talk begins...

75% of the budget goes to 'Personal Services' rather than 'Personnel'....yes, she did suggest what those might be. #callgirls

A self-proclaimed "filthy, stinking capitalist" is up next....

Ha! Jason Moore just called Mac, 'Mac Daddy!'

Why do men named Richard still go by 'Dick?' Don't the know by now.....

Someone just called the Eisemann Center 'Chuck's Place!' #love

"why do we have cities owning golf courses?" #golfcoursereform

Turns out Mac's gonna die soon....and we as a community MUST buy him a waterpark.

This is what happens when @Jennyd86 abandons her post. (as the keeper of the name tags)


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All in all I thought this was a very informative meeting, and it did not strike me at a 'Down with the Bond!' rally. Good, logical reasons were laid out for why you should vote this bond down, but ultimately, my mind was not changed. I will still be voting in favor of Prop.3 and against all of the others.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

From Noel Saldivar, President of the Fire Fighters Association

Citizens of Richardson,

Thanks for your consideration and support of Proposition 3 in the upcoming bond election. The Richardson Fire Department is without a doubt, one of the most talented collections of emergency responders in the State of Texas and continues to look for ways to advance our service. The citizens of Richardson have always been very supportive of the fire department and our needs in the way of equipment and facilities and the members of the Richardson Firefighters Association Local 1954 are very appreciative.

Responding to emergencies has always been the job of firefighters in the City of Richardson since the volunteer firefighter days of 1926, but the game has changed in a post 9/11 world. In addition to fire and medical calls, we also specialize in high angle rescue, trench rescue, hazardous material responses, and all fire apparatus' also have advanced life support capabilities as well. Training and emergency preparedness is at the core of our existence and you deserve to continue having well trained, professional firefighters responding to your emergency needs. The only way to keep up with the demands of this profession is to have the best equipment, which we have, and a “state of the art” training facility, which we desperately need.

Budgets are tight all around the country and every one of us feels the pinch, but emergency services are one area that cannot afford to do without. While I know you’ll review all propositions of this upcoming bond election, as you should, I ask that you consider each item carefully and give it due process.

In closing, I personally feel each proposition up for vote serves a valuable purpose in the City of Richardson with its aging landscape and infrastructure but it’s your job to decide what’s important to you. The men and women of the Richardson Firefighters Association Local 1954 would like to ask for your support in the upcoming bond election. We’re asking for your vote of YES! Thanks for your time and continued support.


Best Regards,

Noel Saldivar, President

RFFA Local 1954

noel@firehousemail.com

Some people spend their Saturday's lounging around the house....

but not Abrahm and I. Instead, we go on Sex Offender Scavenger Hunts!

I got this app for my iPhone a few weeks back which is creatively named, you guessed it, "Sex Offenders." The way it works is it uses your current location and shows you all of the registered sex offenders within a one mile radius.

Here's what mine looked like:


Since the kids and I frequently walk all around this neighborhood I decided I better put a house with a registry and so Abe and I drove by a few. The two that shocked me the most were the ones right by Cottonwood park. Isn't there some sort of law against living by where kids congregate?!?!?!

Anyway, I made a list of all my "Do not accept candy from that man" neighbors....

BAILEY,KEAVEN DEAN – 400 Dublin Dr.
http://tinyurl.com/y3bndzq

DAVIS,ROBERT – 1223 Delmont Dr.
http://tinyurl.com/y2aftjj

***CARBAJAL,BERNARD JOSEPH – Cliffside Dr.
http://tinyurl.com/y4thn3z

FARRIS,STEVEN MAC – 203 S. Weatherred Dr.
http://tinyurl.com/y67nnx3

HILL,CLAUDE N. – 914 S. Weatherred Dr.
http://tinyurl.com/y24pcg3

***Bernie's by far the sickest out of the bunch, though. He assaulted a 4-year-old. I swear, if that was my child he'd be registered at Restland....rather than here:

2010 Conference on Public Education

You Are Invited to....

The 2010 Conference on Public Education

Come to this important conference and arm yourself with the facts and make a difference in our schools!

Hosted by Golden Corridor Republican Women

Topics Covered:
* Preserving Our Heritage in School Textbooks
* Putting More Money into the Classroom
* Reducing Wasteful School Spending
* Protecting Free Speech & Religious Freedoms
* Forming an Effective Parent Group
* Keeping Local Control & Stopping Nationalization
*Becoming a School Board Trustee
* Communicating More Effectively With School Officials
* Obtaining More Information from Your School District


Meet School Board Candidates
Be Informed Before You Vote
All Area School Board Candidates Have Been Invited

Saturday, April 24, 2010 – 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Location: Bellas, 2701 Custer Parkway, Richardson, TX
Map HERE

Featuring These Texas Education Experts:
Jonathan Saenz, Liberty Institute
Peyton Wolcott, Founder, National Grassroots School Check Register Movement
Don McLeroy, Texas State Board of Education, District 9
Hiram Sasser, Liberty Institute
Cynthia Dunbar, State Board of Education, District 10
MerryLynn Gerstenschlager, VP of Texas Eagle Forum
Michael Quinn Sullivan, Empower Texans
Steve Navarre, Conservative Hispanic Society
Brenda Rizos, Parent Activist

The cost is $20 per person, which includes a delicious lunch. Sign-in begins at 8:15 a.m. The program begins at 9 a.m. & ends at 3:00 p.m.


Send $20 checks payable to “GCRW PAC”:
Joline Tate, 209 Pebblecreek Drive, Garland, TX 75040

Payment must be received before April 19, 2010 to count lunches needed

For more information & RSVP: jolinetate@aol.com or 972-495-3299

Click here to download sign-up sheet
Or
You May Register Online by April 19th at www.gcrw.org
There is a $2 online processing fee.

Important School Board Election Dates:
First Day of Early Voting - April 26, 2010
Last Day of Early Voting - May 4, 2010
Election Day - May 8, 2010

Thursday, April 15, 2010

My favorite fake tea party sign....

'cause, yeah.

Or David, I could just make one like this...

These signs are now lining my 'hood.....

(that's Macy-talk for subdivision) thanks to a few of my good neighborsI would really like to have one, but the don't make a 'VOTE NO...on all but PROP 3' version.

Bob Macy's now on Facebook.....

how 'fresh.'
You should all request him.....that is, unless you are a fourteen-year-old girl....because between his profile picture and that, people would start to talk.

You don't see this everyday...


Tuesday afternoon there was a wreck at the intersection of Waterview and Beltline and I'm not sure what flew off the car and cut the stoplight wire, but it looked pretty insane just dangling and bobbing around there.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

You don't have to listen to me...




but at the very least please listen to my over tanned, over bleached, and underfed little friend here, and get out and....



*the latter is not to be viewed as a threat by the owner of this blog or the city of Richardson and should not be taken too seriously, but rather, as an inevitable fact-because at some point, well, ya know.

This made me laugh....

I'm throwing a 'Rock Star' themed birthday party for my soon to be 4-year-old and because i'm not hip on much of the new lingo I decided to check Urban Dictionary (a nationwide website) for some tips. When I typed in 'Rock Star,' this is what pooped up, among a few other entries...
I dunno if this makes me want to vote FOR Van Taylor or AGAINST him (since he goes to work after partying all night???) but thankfully, I won't have to make that tough call seeing as I'm not in his District.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I just might have to buy tickets to see this.....

In Honor Of My Three Beautiful Little Deductions.....



Man, maybe I should just stay home and make babies for a living. I make some pretty good ones if I do say so myself. And aside for the whole Vaseline incident, I think I'm quite alright at it.

Every year I put my taxes off until the very last minute....


because some years I have to pay. But not this year, baby!

I'm getting back the largest chunk of socialist cash I have ever seen....so I would just like to say a big thank you to all of you Canyon Creek-er's who made this possible. I promise not to spend all of your tax money on elote.

Well, wait. Perhaps 'promise' is too strong of a word....

So I found this advertisement the other day in the paper.....


and below is the conversation that followed....

Me: Oh, pa-lease, seriously? Figurines? Seriously?

Abrahm: Oh wow, that is kind of ridiculous. What type of people have Michelle Obama dolls on their shelves? Creeeeeepy....

Me: I dunno, PLUS, I thought Jackie O was already dubbed 'the first lady of fashion.'

Abrahm: ....so she's like what? Blackie O....get it? Like O for Obama?

Me: OH MY GOSH GRAND DRAGON DELAROSA! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! THAT IS SOOOOOOO RACIST!

Abrahm: I'm Mexican, I'm allowed to say stuff like that.

Me: I want full custody of the children.


So all this time as I've been defending my household's vote for McCain, laughing off the Libs who just said we were just racist, I've been aiding and abetting a bona-fide Mexican supremacist right under my own roof. My apologies Kroger check out girl who I overheard telling another customer that only racists were voting for McCain....you are wise beyond your years. (with the exception of me of course---I mean, I called Abrahm a grand dragon really loud, so obviously I am super not-racist, oh yeah, and I married him also, so there's that.)

From the desk of Linda Sue....

Early voting continues through Friday, April 9th, for the Republican Primary Runoff. You may vote at any early voting location in Dallas County.

On Election day, Tuesday, April 13, many polling places will be combined so please check

http://dalcoelections.org/april132010/votinglocations.asp?party=R

for your polling place. If you live in Richardson, election day voting will be at Richardson Civic Center. All Garland residents will vote at Garland City Hall.

Dallas residents have limited races in which to vote but each race is very important. You vote will make a difference so please get to the polls and exercise your right and privilege to vote!

There is one state-wide race for Texas Supreme Court Place between Debra Lehrmann and Rick Green. I have voted for Debra Lehrmann. If you'd like to receive more information on this race let me know.

If you live in Cong. District 30 you will be voting between Stephan Broden and Sheldon Goldstein. Stephan Broden would be my choice.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Money Bomb Pastor Stephen Broden

This guy is amazing! You may remember me rambling on about him getting in a fight with a twerp from Planned Parenthood at a picket one time, because this guy is the real deal.

Since every little bit counts, please considering giving $10 to his campaign against Eddie bernice Johnson.....like I told my f-book friends, it'll get you heaven points.

A Special April Fool's 'Thank You' To You All.....


(who I'm assuming from the way you deleted your names off the petition want to remain 'anonymous')

Either way, thanks for being such good sports and I'm glad to know I'm not the only Cottonwood hater in Richardson!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Turns out T3 might actually suck pretty hard....

So I can't get ahold of Amir to confirm whether or not this is true, but someone just tipped me off to some very unsettling news about Tree The Town.

Evidentially, one of the ways T3 plans on reaching it's 50,000 tree quota is by having individuals register trees which they will be planting on their own property.

Ok, that part's fine, but then get this....someone said Amir is going around encouraging all of the West Richardson participants to plant COTTONWOOD trees as a way to really trademark the neighborhoods around Cottonwood Park, a.k.a. MY neighborhood, a.k.a. my worst freaking sinus headache nightmare!

I mean, this has got to be a joke, right? Please, someone tell me this is a joke!

Go here to sign the online petition which I will present to Amir and David Morgan at the next council meeting if this rumor ends up being true.

To the best of my knowledge there is only one Cottonwood tree over off of Dumont right now, and every year when it starts bombing my neighborhood with it's little demonic allergen puffs I immediately turn into this guy (@ 1:15)....