Tuesday, May 14, 2013

It's finally over.

At least we can all be happy about that, right?

Congratulations Laura. Remember, to whom much is given, much is required. 


Friday, May 10, 2013

Where to even begin....

I'm a firm believer that the only events that should be held from the bed of a pick-up truck are NASCAR parties and/or klan meetings.

But I will make an exception just this once simply because it bore from it such an amazing picture. Plus, these people are the whitest bunch of caucasians I have ever scene, so maybe they'd get a free pass anyway. I mean, they do white pretty hard, you guys. Exhibit A: Gary's clapping.

And man, Mike Mazdsfjhsdlj looks like he's about to haul off on Laura. I feel like I can almost hear his brain screaming, "Dammit woman! I told you not to wear that ladybug jacket!"

But then there's Bill, my favorite.... he's two shades away from full blown tanorexia, and brings just enough color and soul to keep this pic from being supremely white. So, this one's for you, Keff.... testify, my bruthah. 


This makes my blood boil....

Another totally misleading and UNOFFICIAL endorsement that is meant to look like it is coming from an organization....
My first thought was that Barry Hand and I were gonna be having a conversation, until I realized that, no, this was not his doing. I mean, I doubt he protested much given his BFF Steve Mitchell is the "Neighbor" quoted on the other side (even though he lives in Heights NOT Cottonwood). 

But alas, this was Laura's campaign all the way. I guess all you have to do is find two supporters in each neighborhood to make this technically "true," but still, this shiz is shady.

Richardson's Finest

Not only are firefighters super good at rushing over to deliver babies on your living room floor (turns out), they also have excellent taste in mayoral candidates!

L-Maz, c'mon now....

Were you seriously able to write that with a straight face?


Sunday, May 5, 2013

This Cinco de Mayo let us not forget....

One of our mayoral candidates won't get to have a margarita...


The least we can do is give him our vote.

Oh, how cute.

They still think we want them to pick the mayor....
Um....no.

Diane nails it, y'all-
^^^YES.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Deadbeat it, suckas

This........
Should totally be the album cover for
THIS......

Looks like Laura's pandering for the Muzzie vote...


Thursday, May 2, 2013

If you truly love Richardson....

This should be more than just a popularity contest....

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

We Just Civic Dutied All Over City Hall!

And while Eiffel was originally Team Laura....
She finally came around....
So....have YOU voted yet????

Head up there tomorrow..... no wait, tomorrow's gonna suck and it'll be cold and rainy. Head up there Saturday! If it's like it was today, there'll be no lines, sunny skies, and you might even get to meet School Board candidate, Rachel Chumney, and her husband. Early voting's pretty rad, y'all....

Yo! Lisa Dunn and I just solved everything.....

We're like Richardson's own Cagney and Lacey....

So, here's the deal, no more mudsling, k? 
From now on we're only gonna talk about curing cancer.

(Back story: this was a thread on the Richardson Politics facebook group, which if you're not a member, go join NOW! Anyway, it was something about picking a city CEO, then it turned into a whole lot of football analogies, then it ended here....at least until someone pokes the bear again.)

*Click to Enlarge*

Monday, April 29, 2013

I bet they both smell pretty McSteamy at this point....


Am I the only one who's super curious about the dynamic up front at city hall right now?



I mean, both Amir and Laura are out there, and you know from time to time there's got to be a lull in traffic, so......awkward..... I wonder if they're talking at all, or ooow, better yet, fighting! How crazy would that be to walk up as some poor, unsuspecting voter and suddenly they both spin around, fake, angry smiles on their faces and you can totally tell they were just all up in each others grills?

I mean, I doubt anything that exciting is happening but I can imagine, right?


And why stop there? I've watched enough Grey's Anatomy (I'm not proud of it, but it's true) that my imagination can go much, much further.

What if in a delirious daze only hours of sun exposure can bring on, Amir slowly begins to peel off his jacket beneath Laura's sultry glare. He drapes it over his chair and notices how this has given Ms. Maczkjsd a case of the vapors as she begins to bite her lip and fan herself feverishly with her Richardson Coalition voters guide. Before she knows it Amir is returning her gaze, and just as passionately he throws down his water bottle, the backsplash drenching his now clingy white shirt. He lunges towards Laura taking her up in his hands on leadershipy arms. Breathlessly, she exclaims, "Took you long enough Amir Omar!" to which he replies, "You did all of this just to get my attention, Councilwoman Macskdhfza?" As their lips move closer together in the moment all of Richardson has been so desperately longing for, suddenly a tire iron cracks into Amir's sunburned skull. A now hysterical Laura is left holding her lifeless opponent, dying in her arms, as she screams out, "NOOOOOO, MIKE MACZSDKA! Why?!? WHHHHHHHY?"

Or maybe they're just playing on their iPhones and totally ignoring each other. I really don't know.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Alright, I've gotta give credit where credit is due....

So here's a pic Laura posted on her fb from the "Friends of the Library" book sale. Check out the book she's holding. That was no accident....and also, pretty hilarious! She's got jokes, folks! 


***BREAKING NEWS**** AMIR OMAR EATS DOZENS OF JELLY FILLED BABY FETUSES EVERY MORNING FOR BREAKFAST!!!

I'm not gonna lie, after this headline.....


I was expecting something a little more sensational than just this....


Especially since it's so easily debunkable.


And This Week's.....

...award for "@$$hole I Really Want To Hate But Can't" goes to...... Mr. Laura Maczkshsdga!
Just to clarify, while Tannery shared the original article,
Mike's the one who added the exact same quote a
guerrilla blog that's not actually a blog/fb page
just happened to use as well. Coincidence? 

So, back when I first started writing (very unpopular) opinion pieces for the Dallas Morning News, I would take a lot of heat. Turns out some people just super love abortion y'all, but whatever, I digress. So, while this one post in particular had gotten really CRAZY in the comments, thankfully I learned long ago you shouldn't jump in and defend yourself on internet forums. You basically lose all your credibility by stooping to the trolls level, and it rarely turns out well. It's really hard to stay out of it though, UNLESS someone comes to your defense (which is always super awesome.) Anyway, a few days after the post went up I noticed this person, "Johnny42839" -or something, defending the points I had made in the article. This dude got it. Like he really, really "got it" and was saying the very stuff I would've been saying had I given in and started arguing with the trolls like I so desperately wanted to. He was awesome, and redeemed my faith in humanity, and it wasn't until a few weeks later when I jumped on my home computer, and went to sign in to the DMN website, that lo and behold I discovered "Johnny23876297" was still logged in. 

So there ya have it, my husband was the original sweet, sneaky @$$hole that I'm sure lots of people really wanted to hate, but now I was loving more than ever for his internet chivalry. 

So I get it, Mike. Do what ya gotta do. You're a good, loyal guy. Even if your fb activity enrages me from time to time (read as: a lot of the time). 

Thursday, April 25, 2013

And this is how I feel about that...


Update: I may or may not have drank a bottle of wine then tagged Chuck Eisemann in this picture on Facebook at 3am while drunk mopping my kitchen. 

Don't drink and facebook, my friends. Oh, and mop responsibly.

Eh, it's no 'Beer with Amir' but whatev....


Steger's on a roll today....



Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Good for the soul.....

You know what just kinda makes life a little better? When you're trying to have a super serious facebook conversation with an elected official, and it's kinda heavy and intense and you start getting sucked back into the giant lie that the world revolves around Richardson politics, and then you remember that yesterday you changed your profile picture to this... 
...which that person is having to look at while they message you. Suddenly, it all falls back into perspective and you don't have to take it so seriously anymore.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Laura's got Jesus on her side, y'all.....

Alright, so not sure if you've all heard the rumors, but I guess Laura's dad (who is one of the cutest, sweetest men ever) has been telling people, when he finds out they are Amir supporters, that "ya know he's a Muslim, right?" I think this is hilarious, and totally something my grandparents would do too, so I get it, but I figured it was just him. Oh no, turns out her whole camp is playing the Jesus card.....big time.

So I just got a call from my neighbor down the street asking if the "Laura people" had stopped by my house yet, because they just left hers. She told the young lady that she was still undecided, and the girl responds, "Well, I will be praying we get your vote."

I kid you not. Turns out.....


Update: So tonight Abrahm had to work late, or it was his mistress's birthday or something. Anyway, my grandparents kept my two littlest so I could actually sit and listen to the LWV debate. Afterwards when I went to pick the kiddos up, they gave me this....


All I could tell them was that if Amir was one of "those" Muslims, 
he would've Jihad'd my ass so long ago. 

Hope that made them feel a little better.


oy-freakin-vey

sigh....


I guess this was inevitable. It had to be done. Just hope it pays off...



This one goes out to you my friend.... 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Kiss of Death

(Sad that this blog is from 4 years ago, yet still applies today. When will Richardson wake up?)


Ronald Reagan famously said that the world's biggest lie is: "I'm from the federal government and I'm here to help you."

But the biggest lie in Richardson is: "I'm from the Richardson Coalition and I have some information for you."

The Richardson Coalition is the scheming little band of moneyed people in our fair city that believe they should tell you how to vote and how to think. They believe that you're too stupid to make up your own mind or do your own research. So, they're constantly running around with little "polls" of dubious authenticity, websites and mailers. The Coalition - known in some circles simply as "Satan's Henchmen" - use innuendo and half truths to maintain power in Richardson.

The Coalition has two simple goals:
1. Maintain its grip on power at whatever cost.
2. In the process, inflict as much damage on the reputations of its enemies.

And doing the right thing for the City of Richardson? (Refer again to No. 1) Taking care of Richardson's neighborhoods? Fixing the streets and sidewalks? (Refer again to No. 1)

The puppet master is Chuck Eisemann, an investment banker who refers to his office as his "lair," as a spider's lair. His chief lieutenant is Gary Slagel, the former mayor famous for his ethical lapses who set up his software firm - rent free - in a city of Richardson facility. He'd probably still be there if the local T.V. stations hadn't blown the whistle. Did he repay the City of Richardson for that rent? No, he did not. But we digress.

Two years ago, Slagel publcily said that he would step down if he couldn't be mayor. Then he reneged on that pledge after the Coalition put together a "petition" of people begging Slagel to stay. We're not sure why Eisemann or the Coalition is so scared about letting power slip away. Could there be something in the books they don't want coming to light? What is it?

Now we've had two years of stellar (and HONEST) leadership from Steve Mitchell, who has focused on bringing our neighborhoods back from the brink of decay and decline. By all accounts, Steve has done a tremendous job in his first term and has been good for Richardson's image.

So, has the Coalition given Steve a big, hearty "thank you?" Not quite. Instead, the Coalition is slithering around trying to get Slagel back as mayor. Why? Refer to Coalition goal No. 1.

To accomplish this, the Coalition is backing a slate of candidates who have privately promised to vote for Slagel. Don't believe us? Ask 'em. Every single one of the Coalition's boys has evidently signed a blood oath to bring back the Ethically Challenged One to power.

But you can change this, my friend. YOU.

If you think that Steve Mitchell has done a great job as Mayor... if you've noticed that there haven't been any ethical scandals at City Hall the past two years... if you have noticed the revitalization of our neighborhoods and our retail spaces... you know what to do.

Anyone endorsed by the Coalition should be voted down. Spread the word. Email this blog to everyone that you know in Richardson.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

This pic....

(taken awhile back) just begs for a caption contest. Amiright?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

An Open Letter to the Richardson Coalition

Dear Mr. Eisemann,

Last week many Richardson citizens received an email from you, where you once again reminded us of a quote from the Richardson Coalition. After earlier use of that same quote in Mr. Omar's campaign, you got your panties in a wad, and "politely" requested that he no longer use the stale endorsements of past elections.

He ignored your request. Mainly because it was dumb.

In addition, your minions are now forwarding around that email to voters referencing the endorsement and reminding us all of your previous support for Amir Omar. Brilliant move, you guys. seriously. 

We find it disingenuous and insincere to imply that you never gave the Richardson Coalitions support, in spite of the coalition's strong endorsement of Mr. Omar in both 2009 and 2011.

Your behavior intentionally misleads citizens and is unacceptable.  

We now call you to stop misleading Richardson voters, because saying someone else is doing the exact. same. thing. you guys do every single election cycle makes us laugh....uncontrollably. Like in a 'milk shooting out our nose' sorta way. 

And so RC, I dedicate this song to you. Mostly because it's a really good song…but mainly because it's insane how hard you want to rule this city. 

Keep the laughs comin' please,
A Highly Amused Richardson Voter

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Let's Talk....

We'll pretend like I'm that obnoxious neighbor who rambles on for 13 minutes straight without taking a breath so you can't get a word in edgewise.... it'll be good tahms.

(First Debate)

(Second Debate)


*CORRECTION: He was in his 20's when he filed for bankruptcy. My bad.